Getting divorced is never an easy task. Even when the split is amicable, there are bound to be a lot of emotions that come out during the process. This is perhaps especially true around the holidays. During a time when so many people tend to feel increased levels of stress without adding a divorce on top of everything else, it makes sense that the season might be an especially difficult one for the newly divorced. But do not worry, as this does not have to mean that you are doomed to a depressing holiday season! There are different things you can do to help ensure you have as merry a time as possible. Let’s take a look at some of the most important steps to take!
Plan Ahead
First of all, you should sit down and seriously plan out your schedule. This might not seem like a fun or easy task, but it will ultimately make the experience much easier. This is doubly true if you and your ex are going to be sharing custody of children during the holidays. Make sure you have the dates nailed down, and have plans in place to get them from one parent to the other.
Happiness Trumps Perfection
Many people have a very specific idea about what constitutes the “perfect” holiday. For many of us, it includes spending time with our spouse and children in a 1950s sitcom version of reality. When real life strikes and you find yourself newly divorced and facing the holidays, this image can understandably lead to a lot of stress and heartache. Instead of trying to create the “perfect” holiday, why not just focus on creating a happy one? Life isn’t perfect, and the holiday season is certainly not an exception. Focus on down-to-Earth options that will keep your days happy, even if that means they take a different appearance than you originally envisioned.
It’s Not All About the Holiday
Something else that tends to trip people up is the line of thinking that assures them the holiday season is the most important part of the whole year. Indeed, this can be an easy thought to buy into, especially with all of the decorations and marketing directed at “happy families” this time of the year. Keep in mind, however, that you’re really only talking about a few weeks out of a year. Those days are not more important than the rest of the year. What matters, in other words, is to make the best of the situation and remember that world won’t end if the holidays are not perfect.
Let the Guilt Go
Guilt can eat people up around the holidays. You have to be able to see it for what it is and let the toxic emotions and thoughts go. You did your best and now it is time to move on and live your life. Don’t dwell on “what ifs”.
If you find yourself facing a divorce, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Contact an experienced divorce attorney who can advocate on your behalf.