How many of your friends and family are divorced? Think about it. It is not like divorces never happened earlier, they did. But, there’s something more to this, than what meets the eye. An individual gets married, gets divorced and then remarries only to divorce again. The divorce rates are showing no signs of slowing down. Almost 50% of marriages in US result in divorce. The figure is staggering.
Ironically the rate of second marriage and third marriage divorces are even higher. It is a repetitive and almost compulsive trend. There are many social and psychological reasons for divorce and marriage. Why is America facing this disease? What does the American social structure really look like now?
Increase in Marriage Age and Relaxation of Social Norms
More and more Americans are choosing to marry much later in life. While 27 has become the national average age for women, it is 29 for men. The comforts of modern life, higher incomes and the rise of live-in relationships have definitely contributed to the marriage age rising.
Moreover, cohabitation of partners, and child out of wedlock has become acceptable. So has divorce. In fact, when young Americans look around , they see a clutter of separations, divorces, and, unhappy couples. The rampant prevalence of divorce automatically discourages you to take the big step.
You want to be completely sure before you marry. A happy marriage has become a mythical creature. And, divorces are time-consuming, and messy. They also seem pretty inevitable. So, the idea is to spend a lot of time being single and happy. High divorce rates are sending out a wrong signal to our younger generations that happiness, and family life cannot coexist together.
Fluctuations in Economics
Your finances also receive a blow when you get divorced. Besides the alimony, settlements, and division of assets, you will also be running a single-income household now. These do affect the economics of things. You may not be able to live in that posh 3-bedroom Manhattan flat anymore. A studio apartment could be more on the cards.
But, the circumstances become a lot more difficult when there are children involved. Child support keeps the divorced couple in touch with one another. It also keeps one partner dependent on the other. This can get both humiliating and complex. To prevent this from happening, appoint a divorce lawyer who frames a tight agreement on child support, and all other aspects of divorce.
This is also a reason that college educated women are marrying much later, after they have secured good careers for themselves, so that in the eventuality of a divorce, they don’t have to stay dependent on anyone.
It is going to be difficult to adjust to this new balance sheet. But know that when you have peace of mind, you can gradually climb up the economic ladder. Also, shield your children. It is not going to be easy for them to move from an economically prosperous household to a lower standard of living. Pay attention to their needs and explain them honestly what is the situation you are facing.
Mental and Physical Disorders are on the Rise
Divorce is painful. It takes a toll on you physically and mentally. Eva Longoria had famously mentioned in a US chat show, how she stopped eating during her divorce. It caused her massive liver problems, and dramatic weight loss. The coping mechanisms may differ from individual to individual, but the stress and pressure experienced is real. This often leads to depression, anxiety disorders, and memory loss in the individuals involved.
On the other hand, divorce also increases the rise of breast cancer in women. Diabetes, mobility disorders, mood swings and anger issues.
The real problem arises when these issues pass on to the children as well. Seeing your home break, and your blanket of security being ripped apart, leaves an indelible mark on your mind. There are many reports to indicate that children of divorced parents suffer from anxiety bouts, aggression,drug abuse, and an overall apathy and disengagement to things.
On a day-to-day basis, a nasty divorce leads to students who perform poorly in academics. They also exhibit, higher dropout rates.
False Accusations, Family Breakdown, and Loss of Faith
A divorce leads to a broken heart, and lots of bitterness. Anger is a common emotion that is experienced, and it manifests in different forms. We often hear accusations of domestic violence, rape, fraud, etc. between partners. This is a dangerous trend and can tear apart the fabric of rational society.
The high divorce rates are also leading to a loss of faith. From religion to life partners everything is being viewed with an air of suspicion. With divorce being so rampant, couples wanting to tie the knot are being viewed as conservative.
How to Go Through a Divorce?
With all the emotional burden a divorce brings, the legal ramifications of it cannot be forgotten either. Even when you are at the contemplation stage of your divorce, seek legal advice. Alimony, appeals, child support, visitation rights, prenuptial agreements- the legalities of a divorce are immense and complex. Always appoint a lawyer who understands your situations and provides counsel that restores your confidence. Todd Walters of The Walters Law Group, Ltd. is among the best divorce lawyers in Chicago.
These are all symptoms of an epidemic. It has shook the societal foundations of the country, but as individuals we need to work, to retain our mental and physical stability, while going through these tough times. Don’t stop communicating with loved ones. Stay involved in social activities. If you have children, plan ahead for them and make sure you soften the blow for them, so that they get to lead normal, balanced lives.